How to write a Royal Court play

I’ve come for some whizz, yer got any whizz?

No we ain’t

Yes we ave

Shut up

No fuck off

Right let’s go up the fair

Let’s stay here and get fucked

I met a giant once

Did yer?


Yer liar

No I ain’t

Is that a spliff?


Giz it ere.

Repeat for 100 pages…

Michael Stewart


About headspam

I'm a writer from Salford, now based in Bradford. I've written for theatre, radio and TV. And the following books: King Crow (novel: Bluemoose Books); Couples (poetry: Valley Press); Cafe Assassin (novel: Bluemoose Books); Mr Jolly (short stories: Valley Press) Author page:
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